Wanderlust

Deceased

2007-08-24T17:29:00.001-04:00

Here she liesDiscovered in the moonlightUnder glittering city lightsLoved everyday for all too short a timeFrolicked under blue skiesAnd crystal seas in strange landsAbandoned by the waysideUnder a gray skyThe sole casualty of a manFighting for his lifeOf course, there was no choice.Here lies Quong.She was I, who lived in hope.She was I, who lived for love.She was I at my strongestAnd I at my

darkness

2007-08-24T01:52:00.000-04:00

there is such rage in meit keeps me from sleepit makes me take long walks around the darkest parts of the city at night before the morning hoursI seek the darkness hoping for someone to harm meso that i can tear them apart.it makes me want to break every single object inside these four wallsi want to hurt somebodyi want to hurt anybody, even if that person is me.

2007-08-22T01:12:00.000-04:00

Someday soon I'm going to be very happy again.I'll wake up in the morning and know how much I am loved.Mornings will be a wonderful time, better than any other part of the day.I am going to live a life that will put my best dreams to shame.This is the life I choose to live.

Life's lessons

2007-08-17T22:57:00.000-04:00

Difficult lesson of life number 1 : Never give your heart away too easily or too freely. You might end up with someone who is going to be reckless with it. You'll probably end up getting it deeply broken.

2007-08-11T20:01:00.000-04:00

RememberRemember me when I am gone away, Gone far away into the silent land; When you can no more hold me by the hand, Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay. Remember me when no more day by day You tell me of our future that you plann'd: Only remember me; you understand It will be late to counsel then or pray. Yet if you should forget me for a while And afterwards remember, do not grieve: For if

good quote

2007-08-09T05:29:00.000-04:00

Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose. - Evan Esar

Empty

2007-08-08T18:56:00.000-04:00

Empty spaces are strong spaceswhere there is nothing but the stark purity of a Gap.The claritythat compels youand calls you into Being.The force of stillness.You can do no otherthan confrontEmptinesswith senses acute.Knowing that emptiness signalsthe moment before creation.

threads of memory

2007-08-07T19:38:00.000-04:00

The ways of the mindare circumvented tangled threadsof conversations in your headthat you forget you shouldn't be having,looping through worded sighs of namesbest forgotten.Pictures from the rustybins of memoryre-animate and haunt the rippedseams of your conscious thought.Unravelling like a dusky bolt streaked through with tears.

To be free

2007-08-06T06:21:00.000-04:00

You shall be free indeed when your days are not without a care nor your nights without a want and a grief,But rather when these things girdle your life and yet you rise above them naked and unbound.And how shall you rise beyond your days and nights unless you break the chains which you at the dawn of your understanding have fastened around your noon hour?In truth that which you call freedom is

i don't deserve to be happy

2007-08-03T09:10:00.001-04:00

i turn my back on happinessand sit alone in the cold and darkunreal worlds are my companyi've replaced you with thembecause they hurt lessthey talk lessthey demand less of mei won't fail with them the way i have with youi don't want to think about the things i've donesomewhere inside me says i don't deserve to be happyand i believe thati try not to think about youthe most real thing i've ever

A weekend alone

2007-01-29T04:04:00.000-05:00

It was a wonderful dayTo spend time aloneWithout worry or careOf pleasing anyone but myselfThese days I've come to realizeHow much of a burden it is to be with youEvery single daySo much is wrongThat we hope one day will turn rightI look at you when you aren't lookingAnd ask myself a million questionsHow, when or whyNobody can say

It's the Small Things That Build Up

2007-01-26T07:47:00.000-05:00

One day, if you ever ask yourself why it didn't work out, here are my reasons:1. Not helping around the house2. Thinking that hugs can do more than temporarily placate3. Not sleeping side by side at night4. Not waking up together in the morning5. Leaving dirty dishes and chores for someone else to do.6. Not talking over dinner7. Not travelling together8. Money9. Sex10. Inertia--------------------

Trust to Dust

2007-01-18T06:29:00.000-05:00

You try to put together the piecesBuild yourself a home togetherA lifeBut how do you turn your backOn an ugly pastOn dishes left mouldering on the sink for too longOn cockroaches sitting pretty on the couchOn nights where there is nothing but silence and the tapping of the keyboard as private conversations go on with anonymous faces as you face the ceiling in the dark. On cold mornings

Wanting

2006-10-30T00:42:00.000-05:00

WantingDesiringDreamingIs standing on the edgeOf a melting glacierAnd watching it shiftBeneath your feet.

Different Bonds

2006-08-10T01:17:00.000-04:00

When you think about relationships, often you marvel at the subtle differences that qualify their success or failure. For me, two of the most important dimensions that characterize a bond between two people are strength and depth. Relationships that last longer are often the result of strong bonds. But over time, if you are not careful, they can loose their depth, just like when opposing forces

Naturally...

2006-07-26T03:04:00.000-04:00

As I look over the vestiges of my life and pack away the contents of my little room, I can't help but taste the flavour of bitterness on my tongue.Another place to move in to. No other help but my own two hands. Somehow I hoped that this time it would be different.A woman needs someone to help her with the heavy business of living. Moving. Climbing 4 sets of stairs.The suitcase containing the

After the love has gone...

2006-07-25T20:08:00.000-04:00

We're both sitting here trying out something old yet astoundingly new...My question is:Is abstinence really the answer?It gets old real quick.The niggles are still in the background.I think something may have happened. But you aren't talking so what can I do.It's going to be a long long summer.

Shouts in the Night

2006-05-29T20:12:00.000-04:00

When you ask me when I first experienced being shouted at, the truth is I cannot recall. I think I have been shouted at for as long as I can remember. I am sure I was shouted at before I turned two. If it wasn't me being shouted at, it was someone else dear to me--like my mother, my caretakers, my brother, my family. I was shouted at across the dinner table, if not me, then again someone else in

Never the Chance

2006-05-07T15:06:00.000-04:00

You never gave me a chanceto heal from the hurt of your betrayal.With her in your everydayEvery word, every meeting, every single exchage Has been salt poured over an open woundTime and again. You never once helped me to forgetBy never yourself forgettingThe hurt remains, festeringTurning into a hateful open wound.More swollen, more painful with every word I spokeThat you refused to hear.All your

2006-05-02T07:18:00.000-04:00

How does it feel to know that your time is drawing to and end and that mine is about to start?...Tick tock tick tock.

A different journey

2006-04-01T19:08:00.000-05:00

The more I walk, the more I realise how much work there is yet to be done. The further I roam on this flat earth, the more I understand: That the real journey to be taken may be a journey inwards rather than that which takes me to different lands. And that sometimes, no matter how far I fly, or where I run, the distance that needs to be trodden lies someplace deep within. Physical wandering,

What are promises worth?

2005-12-10T11:56:00.000-05:00

What are promises worthWhen they are broken time and again?What is the measure of a bridge's strengthWhen it is built on foundations of quicksand?Just when you begin to cross themThey sink into the earthSlowly, inevitablySwallowed beneath a murky void.What are rainbows worthWhen you paint these for me Over a gray skyBeautiful colours ephemeralThat scatter and disperse When the harsh light of

Message from Beyond: Judgement

2005-11-20T13:42:00.000-05:00

JudgmentPosition: Love ChallengesMain (positional) Meaning:Heed the beckoning call of redemption for a relationship.The card that lands in the Love Challenges position refers to ways that you can turn obstacles into stepping stones.Judgement in this position indicates a challenge for you and the one you care about to be redeemed and resurrected. Agree to wake up your relationship to a higher

Common Threads that Bind

2005-11-12T20:49:00.000-05:00

Do you know who I am?You who rejected me, through no fault of my own?Have you ever been The victim of circumstance?Loving the wrong personAt the wrong time?How can you judge who is right and wrong?Who to hate? And who is right for whom?You and I both lovedBoth bled.Cried. Suffered. Died a million deaths.For the sake of love. Men. The wrong kind.How can we be anything but sisters? Twins.Each a

Who

2005-11-01T03:05:00.000-05:00

Who are youWho burrows into a fantasyWho in hollow days makes the waiting waitSolitary DreamsAt the cost of everything and everyoneWho are youWho never understood meNever placed much valueOn the truth of human loveWho believes selfishness is justifiedBy the grandeur of creationWho the fuck are you.Some days I think I hate you.

A Walking Talking U2 Song

2005-10-18T13:07:00.000-04:00

See the stone set in your eyesSee the thorn twist in your sideSleight of hand and twist of fateOn a bed of nails you make me wait Through the storm we reach the shoreYou give it all but I want moreI can’t liveWith or without youNothing to win And nothing left to loose----------------------------------------------------Being with you these days seems like a cruel cosmic prank.I feel:A is for

The kind of Elves I would raise

2005-09-10T23:10:00.000-04:00

If I could people the world with the pitter patter of tiny elven feet, they would be:1. Compassionate, be able to have empathy and caring and understanding of others2. Fearless, unafraid to express whatever their genius prods them to, unafraid to fight for their beliefs, and follow their dreams 3. Lovers of Wisdom and readers of lots of good books4. Open-minded, tolerant, careful of prejudice and

Spring has come

2005-09-09T22:58:00.000-04:00

These weeks have somewhat been like the spring after a long winter.In so many ways, I feel I am being rejuvenated.At long last, so much of what I thought had left me returns.My zest for life.Passion for adventure.Confidence and belief in my own self worth.Faith. Hope. Enthusiasm for what the future brings.Some days, like in spring, it is still a struggle. There are still dark days.But slowly

London, I love

2005-08-28T21:46:00.000-04:00

Moved in, this week, to a beautiful apartment in Chelsea that I share with Tabitha. It is a basement flat, beautifully furnished with a large garden. Life in London has not ceased to amaze me. Many days, as I move through the streets, tunnels and byways of the city, I feel like Alice in Wonderland, my wide gaze constantly met by things both curious and amazing. I feel as if I am walking around in

Nothing

2005-08-19T09:08:00.000-04:00

there's a grief that can't be spoken,there's a pain goes on and on...To quote a favorite line from a sad song...It crystallizes what I feel best today.Grief for the memory of sweeter days that can no longer be relivedFeelings long buried, dampened, deadened by the passage of timeTime when I was your only love, and you were mine.Nowadays, it is a sad, hollow feeling that lives on inside.I wonder

where?

2005-08-13T13:32:00.000-04:00

I wonder where it went, that desire inside you to make me feel good in your company.It seems like these days you don't bother much. Yet, keeping good feelings alive is even more important in circumstances such as ours.Sometimes when I call on the phone, it is a plea for a pick-me-up, for affirmation, for support that is so badly needed while I am alone, In a place that is strange to me, in a

In Seclusion

2005-08-06T08:04:00.000-04:00

I am going into seclusion. It has been 2 weeks since I came to London. I feel good in this city, but tired. It is unsurprising considering what I have gone through in the past 3 months, and what I am, in part, still going through. I should just get over the fact that he's not coming, and that another year will go by, with me celebrating my birthday alone. If he chooses mastery of his craft over a

Mental notes to myself:

2005-08-03T19:55:00.000-04:00

1. Never date a person working in real estate. A more despicable, irritating, manipulative, egoistical bunch of people (with bad hair), I have never met. There are probably exceptions to this rule, but I imagine they are few and far between.2. Never live in Zone 3. It takes an hour (at least) to get to anywhere in Central London.3. Start the yoga asap. You are starting to sport a gut. Most

Well, here we are

2005-07-24T04:00:00.000-04:00

Arrived London on Friday morning carrying 5 suitcases. Understandably exhausted after carrying my gazillion bags across two continents. Much has happened since I landed. Things I am stoked about:1. Finally get to sleep on my own 500 threadcount egyptian cotton sheets (after 3 months)2. Pradeep has given me use of my own wardrobe. Now that some of my worldly possessions are displayed properly, it

Postponed Indefinitely

2005-07-18T23:22:00.000-04:00

A lifetime afloatAn endless sea of sandA grain waiting to dropSuspendedBetween thick white fingersOnce a path sharedA field torn asunderKnows not now its placeWithin the myriad mound of timeA dream returns To the pearly oblivion of slumberWhile the dreamerSleeps, restless Until the nextCreeps unsuspectingAtop a heart ravaged by care.

From Norfolk, Massachussetts

2005-07-17T18:41:00.000-04:00

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play for them, for this comes after work.

The Rigorous Life of a Couch Potato

2005-07-11T06:16:00.000-04:00

It is 6 in the morning and I am bored and unable to sleep. I lie beside a 42 inch flat screen TV positioned beside my bed and wake up to the serenity of on demand cable television each morning. The wealth and variety of meaningless, mind vacuuming American television--all 700 channels of it, accessed with the just the press of my dainty finger on the remote control button faintly boggles my mind,

Moving House

2005-06-27T03:09:00.000-04:00

There is a common saying among the mob that good friends will help you move, while great friends will help you move a body. For the past two days I am proud to say that I have been a great friend. Moving a body for the sake of friendship. My own. Two of my dear friends Sarah and Tamar are moving away from the city. I have been busy helping them put their lives away in boxes and heaving and

Thoughts from Atop a Chinaman's Bus

2005-06-25T01:53:00.000-04:00

I spent 4 and a half hours today perched precariously on my seat on a jam-packed Chinatown bus from New York to DC. I say precariously perched because that was exactly how it was. On that full bus, I had the misfortune to be seated next to possibly one of the most malodorous human beings on the planet. It was all I could do to stop myself from gagging everytime I got a whiff of his particular

Some time

2005-06-24T02:37:00.000-04:00

It's been sometime since I last came on. As predicted, life over the past month has been nothing short of insane. Have been living out of a suitcase and trying to roll with the punches and just go with the flow. Tomorrow though, my dad and bro are finally flying back to LA and then to Asia, and so reality returns and the next act of this play entitled My Life begins. Being at their beck and call

NPA

2005-06-01T01:13:00.000-04:00

It's officially my last night as a legal resident of the United States. Beginning the 2nd of June, I formally begin my stint as a member of the NPA Organization--no, not the New People's Army. I haven't yet turned into a communist guerrilla fighter. Rather, I officially become one of the people in the world who have No Permanent Address. This would have been no big deal if it weren't for my

Over?

2005-05-30T23:20:00.000-04:00

Wonder if it finally is over. After two long years, I wonder if I've finally managed to push him off the edge. Funnily enough, I feel rather numb at the moment. Good old Klonopin to the rescue. I took it shortly after I sent out the ignominous threatening email to cope with the panic I felt hurtling down on me after our telephone conversation the night before. I knew from the moment he picked up

Narcissus must die

2005-05-30T13:12:00.000-04:00

"The faculty to think objectively is reason; the emotional attitude behind reason is that of humility. To be objective, to use one's reason is possible only if one has achieved an attitude of humility. In terms of this discussion of the practise of the art of loving, this means: love being dependent on the relative absence of narcissism, it requires the development of humility, objectivity and

This Blog is for Me

2005-05-22T02:05:00.000-04:00

I conversed with someone close to my heart the other day, who apparently reads my blog, but who leaves no footprints. I had no idea he had read my words because I am not the type to check on other people's comings and goings to this page. People are pretty much free to come and go, and all who come are welcome here, so I never check IP addresses or hits or things like that anymore. After having

Life right now...

2005-05-20T01:27:00.000-04:00

Outside:"Family values are a little like family vacations—subject to changeable weather and remembered more fondly with the passage of time."Leslie Dreyfous------------------Inside: "A million eyes, a million boots in line,Without expression, waiting for a sigh."WH Auden

Love as an Illness

2005-05-16T23:25:00.000-04:00

I was browsing an interesting book today at the University bookstore. It was a psychologist's account about love's relationship to mental disorder. In fact, a person in love can manifest the same symptoms as a person who suffers from depression, schizophrenia, mania and obessessive compulsive behavior. Wow. All of that. I suppose my experiences of stress and anxiety of late have contributed

In Defense of the Whiney Blog

2005-05-15T15:49:00.000-04:00

I was reading the blog of a friend's friend today. Was really quite entertaining. In it though, she had a post about how most of the women's blogs that she's read have actually been full of whining--and that most women actually whine about men, their boyfriends, men friends, etc. etc. and how these women should get a life. If she ever came across my blog one day, she'd probably think it was a

Time To Go

2005-05-12T03:06:00.000-04:00

Magritte's Time TransfixedThere are 3 large suitcases open and lying on my floor. Two years have gone by and I cannot believe a part of my life has finally come to a close.For the most part, truthfully, it did not really feel much like living. I was busy, lost in the middle of a city full of monuments,longing for someone who was a million miles away. More busy doing that than forming

Moving the caravan

2005-05-09T16:53:00.000-04:00

Things to do this week:1. pack the things I'm bringing to London into my 3 suitcases2. pack away the things I'm leaving behind3. Arrange for storage 4. Get moving to get my car sold5. book tickets to London for the first of June6. Write all my headhunters7. Cancel all my subscriptions, 8. Arrange for accommodations when we arrive9. Cancel my insurance, phoneline/cable subscriptions10. Sell summer

Press the Panic Button

2005-05-03T01:11:00.000-04:00

This week I found out that I suffer from an Anxiety Disorder:Panic Disorder is a serious condition that around one out of every 75 people might experience. It usually appears during the teens or early adulthood, and while the exact causes are unclear, there does seem to be a connection with major life transitions that are potentially stressful: graduating from college, getting married, having a

How you know when a man doesn't love you anymore

2005-04-29T09:49:00.000-04:00

10. His work or social committments come before your urgent needs or immediate wellbeing9. He is uninterested in your activities, thoughts, insights, health, or in having any kind of meaningful discussion with you.8. His taxes come before your problems7. His friends'problems seem to take precedence over yours.6. He is unresponsive to your caring overtures or attempts at any real communication.5.

Thoughts on Japan

2005-04-27T03:17:00.000-04:00

Walking the city streets hand in hand Someone's camera clicking awayWhile I sit smoking on a rainy dayContemplating ancient willows at the Palace gatesThrough tear-filled eyes that echo Heaven's lamentationNights filled with lightsTwinkling in a strange tongueRaw fish swallowed by the dozenOnce stopped briefly to alight on wet market floorsSmoothly sliding down my throatMelting like butter on my

Murky Road Ahead

2005-04-25T08:39:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, just when you think the road ahead is set, life stumps you with foggy uncertainties. Take the man in this picture for example. Off he tramples towards the path that leads to his dreams. Unfortunately it is likely to take him to some other place far, far away.I still believe though that people should follow their dreams, even though I myself do not really have much to show for mine

Heavy Philosophical Debate

2005-04-18T00:04:00.000-04:00

It is going to be an interesting week, I can tell. I have begun it by having a great philosophical debate with myself about religion. By no means is this going to be the week where I expect to have all the answers, or to firmly decide whether or not I believe in religion. I suspect this is going to be an ongoing debate throughout my life and I very much look forward to exercising my brain

One of those days

2005-04-14T03:36:00.000-04:00

It's been one of those days...I am going to count the good things that happened to me today:1. My visa to Japan got approved.2. Got a call from a recruiter in London who sounded very excited about me...should consider living in the Home counties and the south west.3. Got approved for an AMEX credit card with a 2000 line of credit. Phew. That helps.4. Good friend cooked me dinner.5. Good friend

On a hopeful slant

2005-04-12T14:23:00.000-04:00

from:http://friskypics.com/index.php?image=hopeI love this photo...and banksy's art. Hopefully it will be my talisman and apply to my situation...var sc_project=642137; var sc_partition=5; var sc_security="87c7c35a"; var sc_invisible=1; I AM HOPEFUL ABOUT:Tokyo. Hakone. Hot sex again with someone someday. Making money again.

Work in Progress

2005-04-07T12:49:00.000-04:00

It's funny how much we all are works in progress. Oftentimes, in our relationships with people, we forget that they are works in progress too--likewise all engaged in life journeys of their own, stumbling, learning, experiencing, growing. We don't realize, especially with those we are closest to, those who we think we know, that we oftentimes judge them, put them into boxes, categorize them and

Believing

2005-04-03T00:17:00.000-05:00

Today, you have just worn out the believing muscles of my mind. I am a broken pot, all the hopes that I have carefully nurtured, all the dreams that have given me strength for all this time, flowing outward, spilling into a hole in the ground, disappearing into a ruined puddle. And it has been nothing more than my stubborn heart that has clung to each small portion, every little bit of hope

Randomness

2005-04-02T05:28:00.000-05:00

Just finished: The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki MurakamiHave decided that Murakami is too surreal an author for my taste...finally, after reading 3 books, I make this conclusion.Now Reading: The Virgin Blue by Tracey ChevalierDunno yet... Catch 22 by Joseph HellerThought I should read it already, but so far, have not yet startedListening to:Baby Mammoth - is awesomeThe Soundtrack of Our Lives

A Felicidade

2005-03-24T16:47:00.000-05:00

There is no one who quite knows happiness and sadness like a poet...Here is what Vinicius has to say...I think he knows my heart.Tristeza não tem fin Sadness has no end felicidade sim happiness does A felicidade é como a pluma Happiness is like a feather que o vento vai levando pelo ar that the wind lifts through the air Voa tão leve It flies so

A Cidade Maravilhosa

2005-03-24T09:45:00.000-05:00

Photo by yours trulyMarvelous indeed...There are a hundred memories I want to take home from here and relive forever:1. What it is like to step off a mountain and soar to the ground, like a feather floating in the wind.2. The feel of lying on a chair on Ipanema and feeling the sun warming your body3. The view from the peak of the Pao de Açúcar, looking over Urca, Flamengo, the city...4. The

On the Way to Rio

2005-03-18T16:40:00.000-05:00

Just dropping in from the Varig lounge on the way to Rio this evening...perhaps i have too much time on my hands, but travelling with people sometimes leaves you with no time to gather your own thoughts...and I think that when you are travelling, it is the best time to do some introspection and philosophizing while your senses and your brain are engaged in new sights, new places, new experiences.

Sao Paolo

2005-03-17T12:06:00.002-05:00

I thought I would drop in and write a little bit, about my thoughts on this city...My thoughts are a blurNight after nightPerfect faces perfect proportionsPortuguese nosesThick caterpillar eyelashesNights that leave me empty.Such a masculine city.Too much like the city I grew up in for me to feel at home.Morcheeba puts it best, I think:Another stain on my passportI wanna travel so futuristicallyI

10 Things I Love about London

2005-03-07T06:19:00.000-05:00

1. Portobello Road Courtyard houses2. Soho Sidestreets3. Art and museums that make you think(The Tate Modern, The V&A)4. Pasties and Sandwiches you can find on any streetcorner deli that actually taste GOOD5. The RIBA Café (www.economist.com/cities/displayobject.cfm?obj_id=568643&city_id=LDN)6. People who read intelligent books on the Tube (Camden) (Portobello)7. The quaint shops and markets (

Repressed Rage

2005-02-27T13:22:00.000-05:00

Awaken toRage in my heart Anger and Hurt and BetrayalMaybe unreasonable. Yet feltWith the heart and not the head.Ever my fault, Saying things were ok, It was ok, i understood. My mind has always understood. My heart never has. The heart thinks of things past And overflows with wrath. Rage in my heart haunts my dreams.Awoke to a question of 3 words:How Could You?Have replaced meHave allowed such

Who?

2005-02-20T02:46:00.000-05:00

Do you know who I am? I have always wondered. Do you know the person at the heart of the drama queen, the one she becomes when there is nobody there, and she is all alone, looking at herself backstage? Do you wonder? You have often only seen one side. The side that always loves, the side that gives unconditionally, the side that treasures, validates, supports...The side who is always there ready

Bridge of Sighs

2005-02-07T01:11:00.000-05:00

In Venice there is a bridge called the Bridge of Sighs. Why it was named so, I have no clue. Perhaps one day I'll find out. I like this name though, it is a good metaphor for who I seem to be nowadays. It is funny, this business of broken hearts. Sometimes I feel like a bridge of sighs myself. Connecting the two of you, in some bizarre way. I have been where both of you have stood, at one point

The Fool

2005-01-28T20:26:00.000-05:00

I have always liked this picture of the archetypal fool. Perhaps because I see so much of myself in it. A person walking through life with such optimism, imagining the sun always shining above me with clear skies and set paths. I walk into the world with the same innocence, the same good intentions, the same idealism that all will be right and things will be as they should...and when they don't,

Contradiction

2005-01-22T15:17:00.000-05:00

How does it feel like, I wonder, to live as though life were a lie. Denying those you say you love and exalting those who you say are your nightmares. If one cannot honor people one values and holds dear, then what does it mean to be valued and held dear by you? Courage is the measure of one's ability to hold true. Hold true to yourself and to people you love. To deny the lie and live and

Path

2005-01-12T01:15:00.000-05:00

I hope that one day I will know How to lead you back On the path of joy Down the road that leads back To the mischevious glitter That used to play in your blue eyes Eyes that have gone solemn now This year past... I hope I will know how To unlock the smiles in your heart To fill your rooms with the happy rumble Of your deep laughter That used to fuel my own Those rooms now echo Silently

3600 Hours

2005-01-10T20:25:00.000-05:00

Somewhere in the next 3,600 hours A Walk awaits that you and i will take Hand and hand across boulevards Covered in cobbled stones And unspoken hopes A walk that will lead To technicolor dreams Shadowed underneath trees Of brilliant hue and leaves that burst With green promises That maybe spell forever... 3600 hours... 150 days... 5 months...

What You Think

2004-12-28T11:24:00.000-05:00

I want to know what you think What you drink Do not hide from me Behind a shell Just because I will be miles away. Keep me present Beside you in your heart Continue to whisper things to me Because I am here I listen, I care, I love Keep your heart open Mine has always been It is the way to keep the fire of love Burning through lonely nights. If I never know what you think You will become too

Work is Your Love Made Visible

2004-12-28T09:48:00.000-05:00

Work is your love made visible. I told you this once, on our very first conversation, many years ago. Nothing dignifies a human being more than work that is an expression of one's essence. I think this is why sometimes I have such respect for people who dare to flout material benefits for work that they love. I saw this in you very very early on. I saw your love for your work, how you gave up so

Dream

2004-12-28T09:36:00.000-05:00

I had a dream last night. I dreamt that I left you. Found someone new. I looked for the last time into your eyes and discovered that I could never leave. Dreams perchance are mirrors of the heart.

Today

2004-12-18T23:07:00.000-05:00

This situation is incomplete, but I can only hope that the chaos of the past is slowly giving way to order. The goal seems in sight. Nevertheless, I am still treading on thin ice - the way ahead is not unobstructed, though the goal is clear, There is always the danger that I slip and fall.

Keeping Still

2004-12-10T08:51:00.000-05:00

The stillness of the heart Is a silence absolute A silence that can never be broken Again in this world The stillness of the soul Is a neverending battle to be fought Between opposing forces That stir within. The victor's prize... A moment of serenity... Regular periods of keeping still are an important aspect of personal development and forward motion. The most restful person may not be the

Temporary Obstacles

2004-11-14T13:21:00.000-05:00

Often Obscured Obfuscated Opaque Yet Omnipotent Who knows what the future will bring Have temporary obstacles been blocking your way? In the course of trying to reach a goal or fulfill a personal ambition, obstructions inevitably present themselves. This is not always a bad thing. Obstacles, difficulties and even setbacks which are eventually overcome often become assets. Without

Following

2004-11-12T11:25:00.000-05:00

It is exhausting really Me following you You following me Chasing each other around In endless circles But perhaps it is worth it At the end of our tribulations If we could only Together, collapse And rest in each other's arms Following brings supreme success. You may not be able to change the direction of the wind, but by frequently adjusting your sails, you can arrive at your destination.

Gathering

2004-11-11T02:57:00.000-05:00

Butterflies flitter Across desert sands Delicate wings caress Barren lands Shadows lengthen In the wake Of their solemn passage Fragile creatures, both. Searching for a garden. The power of gathering together is represented by a rally, where each individual's strength is magnified by the power of the community as a whole. History has shown that mass movements can bring about stable, ordered

Keeping Still

2004-11-02T20:40:00.000-05:00

In the stillness of A moonlit night I solemnly beseech The countless stars Sole witnesses To my soliloquy I walk alone Towards a dark horizon With nothing but Their silent company Regular periods of keeping still are an important aspect of personal development and forward motion. The most restful person may not be the one who sleeps twelve hours a day, but the one able to grab catnaps while

Holding Together

2004-10-31T18:41:00.000-05:00

We cast off together Towards a dark sea Unknown lands await Who knows If we arrive together On sunnier shores Holding together brings success. But high-level teamwork is achieved only when a clear goal is shared by the right players on the right team at the right time. A team forms its relationships in a delicate manner; chemistry is brewed in the vat of shared experiences. Late-comers cannot

A Steady Pace

2004-10-31T01:30:00.000-05:00

Like an ancient old-growth forest - where the subtle play of light, texture and shadows is the product of a process measured in centuries and inches - most things of lasting value develop gradually, at their own pace. The ability to learn from experience - one of humanity's greatest treasures - implies constant yet gradual progress. The combination of stillness within and determination without

Islands

2004-10-25T14:53:00.000-04:00

Islands alone Captives of a blue sea Waves tickle pristine shores Laughter echoes on empty beaches That silently cry out for reunion With the greater continent

Joy

2004-10-25T14:18:00.000-04:00

Iko-iko Joy comes into the world through gentle means, but springs from a solid inner base. The power of pure joy should not be underestimated. The enjoyment of learning and discovery, for example, has been the source of much material progress. Accordingly, that which brings joy into the world is a source of considerable power. If happiness is supported by personal stability, it will in time

Wind

2004-10-20T01:19:00.000-04:00

I wish I could be like the wind Blowing carelessly about the earth Tickling the leaves high in the treetops, The green grasses that grow low upon the ground. And blowing away, in the next moment. I wish I could be the wind. That blows away the doubts in your heart. That frolics around you. And brings you relief From hot dusty days and humid nights. And yet I am the wind. Insubstantial as a

Walking in Parallel Space

2004-10-13T17:09:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I think of you and me like this. Walking our own way in opposite sides of the world. Myself not knowing what or how or why. Your world is your own yet mine too. Yet there is no one to hold at night, when it is dark. My arms are empty. My heart full of sadness.

The Persistence of Memory

2004-09-26T20:14:00.000-04:00

The Persistence of Memory, Dali, 1931 Sometimes the persistence of memory is a curse. The memory of being expunged from paradise. The garden where two once frolicked. A world split into two. Ragged. Broken. Bereft. Sometimes that last memory of happiness. Is a wound that never heals.

Samsara

2004-09-24T19:08:00.000-04:00

Siona Benjamin, Samsara, 2003 The Buddhists have a word for it. They call it "samsara" an endless wandering, a continuous movement like the flow of a river. And all living creatures must go through this cycle of birth and rebirth on this world on the way towards the final end--forgetfulness, the final nirvana. And so I am on my way, journeying as I must, on this meandering path towards

Clinging to Fire

2004-09-24T02:19:00.000-04:00

Alison Schwabe, Fire Danger 2 Textile Flames cling to their source of fuel in order to keep the fire burning. Likewise, in the human world, everything that radiates light or love is dependent upon something else. Awareness of our own dependency on others is the key that unlocks the door to our true place in the world. No woman is an island. Fire is also a symbol of liberation - crackling

Learning to Dance

2004-09-24T01:58:00.000-04:00

W. Kandinsky, Tormento interiore, 1925 When to the heart of man was it ever less than a treason to go with the drift of things, to yield with a grace to reason and bow and accept at the end of a love or a season." Robert Frost I wish I were one of those people who could swallow the universe like a pill. Journeying through life accepting, accepting. Trusting the physician to administer the